We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.
- Dolly Parton
Why do we write a set of resolutions? Well the answer to this question is not very complicated. One writes New Year resolutions to keep on motivating and encouraging us throughout the year and it is because of them we continue moving towards our goal. That is why it is good to put new year resolutions in writing. Here are mine? I am sure many of you, my friends, share these simple resolutions.
Resolution 1: Getting and staying as physically and mentally healthy to allow me to continue my lifestyle.
Resolution 2: Stay in touch with out-of-town friends and family.
Resolution 3: Stay true to my belief that we can make the world a better place for children.
Here I sit on a cold Friday morning in the usually warm California sunshine. I should be happy because I always say that I miss the seasons. A few snowflakes would be appreciated to help me remember what month it is. A reason to wear my Uggs.
I read David Brooks’ every morning his column is on that back page of Section 1 of the NY Times. This morning - "Beware Stubby Glasses" talking to his readers about behavioral sciences. What a subject. The more I read this morning, the more I realized how much I don’t know and need to learn. This mysterious subject drew me to Brooks’ "The Social Animal". I started reading a chapter a morning - I have completed this extraordinary book - a subject I didn’t expect from Brooks. Every chapter gives you so much to think about. Brooks spent about three years writing the book in between moments of his media career (TV appearances, lectures, etc.). He has remarked, "I used to play golf... I gave up every second that I wasn’t hanging around with my wife and kids." In doing research. Brooks' distance from his friends and colleagues living in Washington, which he has called "the most emotionally avoidant city in America", provided a major inspiration for writing the book. He has also remarked, "Our explanation of why we live the way we do is all on the surface... Our policies have been shaped by shallow views of human nature."
The Social Animal begins with the announcement that "This is the happiest story you've ever read. It's about two people who led wonderfully fulfilling lives." The book isn't a story, however, so much as a giant parable about the power of our unconscious. It suggests how we might improve ourselves and our world by understanding how we really think. He invents two characters, Harold and Erica, whom we follow from childhood to grave. Watching their lives unfold, we're treated to commentary about how and why these characters behave and believe as they do. The Social Animal is a sort of "theory of everything," a valiant attempt to explain human behavior through a multitude of ideas and characters.
I had a strange reaction to his "Beware Stubby Glasses" column. This was a reaching way back for me. What the "Social Animal" is today was the Myers Briggs Personality Test. The Myers-Briggs test is used all over the world, and is the single most popular psychometric system, with the full formal version of the test given more than 2,000,000 times a year. But is it a valid psychological tool, is it just another pop gimmick like astrology, or is the truth somewhere in between?
In my time in government, we were required to participate in small cohorts to take this test. You learn more about yourself through this daylong experience than perhaps you ever wanted to. But, it does take you away from the everyday routine of work and more work, and lets you look into yourself, with surprising results. I think this is what David hoped we would all do.
After the session was completed and the leaders analyzed our answers, I found my personality type to be an INFP - would you believe - Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving. I am still wondering how my profile was introverted. I thought about that 20 years ago and still am uncertain. All my friends and family say I am a party girl - you know that woman who cooks and bakes and makes cosmos. How could that describe an introvert? Well I guess it does - for example this week, with cold and flu, I was never bored. I read books on Kindle and started writing, watched new and old films, thanks to the DVR system. Thought about Moldaw business and how lucky we are to be here.
The Feeling and Perceiving continues for me. INFP’s primary goal is to find out the meaning in life. What is our purpose? How can we best serve people in our lives? Even at this late stage in life, I am still that liberal progressive with feelings that I can help make the world a better place for children. Aren’t I one of the lucky ones. For many, there is no clear vision and no path for these feelings.
So on this cold and damp Friday morning I am gathering old reports from my previous life and clicking on my fabulous new friend Google to research and start planning for the League of Womens' Early Childhood Education study. For my friends and family who lived with me through my years in the private sector and then in government, advocating and lobbying for the highest quality child care for working moms and dads, care for children with special needs, caring for infants and toddlers at risk of abuse, and pushing corporations to build and support child care programs in counties throughout the state - they will say ‘there she goes again.’ One of my least favorite things is fund-raising, but at the time seemed unavoidable to get the laws and regulations we needed through legislatures.
Nothing has changed - just look at Washington and the lobbyists who earn millions fighting for and protecting issues from people with opposing views. We didn’t have super pacs, we didn’t have a complete breakdown of respect for the other side and we never heard that negotiating and compromise were words that could cause a legislator to lose their seat in Congress. I would suggest Congress take the Myers Briggs Test to come face to face with who they are - not a superficial, cosmetic face but a hard look in the mirror and learn whether they are who they think they are and who they want to be. A further look shows INFPs to be highly intuitive about people - that is the personality that helped get them elected. What will they do with this honor to serve us?
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